Just some topics on my mind

It’s annoying (and sometimes hurtful – depending on the person and topic) when I send an e-mail to someone – whether a person I know or a government agency – and I never get a response though the e-mail is asking for a response and I know they’ve read my message.

I must be tired if I go into the restroom and I nearly fall asleep. Is the famous 2nd trimester burst of energy here yet? I honestly don’t know how much longer I can function like this. I told Jon last night that I can’t do this – I can’t take care of twin toddlers and be pregnant at the same time – it’s too draining. How do others do it? How in the world did Angelina do it? Sure, she probably had help from nannies, but still – she was a mother of 4 already! Trina – how in the world did you do it? You didn’t have nanny help. Any other mothers want to share their stories?

One day at a WW meeting someone mentioned that a certain store was selling Popchips – they were supposed to be healthy for you and they tasted good. Well, the next time I was at that certain store, I bought some and they were the yum! So I wanted to get some more when I ran out and there were no more to be had and they didn’t seem to think they should order more! So sad. I can find a teeny tiny bag at the grocery store, but I liked the bigger bag I got at this store. They must bring back Popchips!

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Dates and Parks

We started out our weekend by going to a friend’s house after Ben & Ella went to bed (mother-in-law stayed with them). We got there about 9 and left about 10. I was seriously tired and it was way past my bed time but I felt like I hadn’t seen anyone in forever. We actually left the house about the time I go to bed these days.

Saturday, Jon and I went on a lunch date and spent his gift card he got to UVillage on the lunch and some goodies at B&N. I got a couple books, Jon got a CD, and we got our children a book – they love the puzzle pieces that were inside the book – they were big eggs. Great for putting into their mouth and fighting over. Later on that day, we just spent some time playing outside on the deck and on the playset we got for the kids. Benjamin decided to climb up to the slide and go down headfirst. That boy is becoming more daring as he grows older. He is starting to walk and will just let go of whatever he’s holding onto and walk toward someone without them realizing what he’s doing until he falls into their laps. He thinks it is hilarious. He has been great progress in his walking abilities so I don’t think it will be too long before he’ll be walking on his own.

Ella has also learned a new word – outside. She will stand by our french doors and yell loudly with something that sounds like outside. She will bring you her shoes for you to put on her so she can go outside. She will give you her shoes, sit down in your lap and wait for you to put on her shoes. It’s rather cute.

Oh, before Jon and I went on our date, I went over to a certain store while Ben & Ella were napping so I could get some baby stuff, but most importantly, so I could get the 4th book in the Twilight series (it was cheaper at this place than anywhere else I had seen). I walk directly to the books (well, there was a minor stop in the clothing section and I picked up a couple $10 shirts – what a deal!), and went to the endcap thinking that’s where the book would be since it just came out that day. There were none. I thought – there is no way that all 250 copies (I checked) would be gone already, but I couldn’t find them. Turns out – they were over in the “young adult” section. Phew! (I checked this morning and as of this morning, 39 were left at this particular store with more on the way).

Anywho, on Sunday, we decided to not take Ben & Ella to the Blue Angels show this year. Maybe next year, we will take them when Jon’s mom offered to watch the new baby for us (funny that when she said that I had kinda forgotten I was pregnant – I don’t know when it will sink in). Later that day, we did meet some friends at a nearby park and had some fun there. I guess when Jon and Ella were down on one of the baseball fields, Ella thought she would pretend she was Lou Piniella by trying (though Lou succeeded) to pull up 1st base – she got rather frustrated trying to do that. Benjamin walked between Kelly and I – he thought that was great fun.

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Part 2 of Birth Story (C-Section)

As soon as it was determined I was having a c-section that night, they had the labor and delivery nurse come in and prepare me (with shaving me to make that bikini line cut – that tickled) as well as the IV nurse. As soon as these things starting happening, it became even more real that the c-section was definitely happening that night. I started to shake uncontrollably probably out of anxiety as well as with the IV being put in, etc. Things really did happen really fast once the OB gave the o.k. to have the c-section. I just don’t know how to describe how fast it really went other than to say that it did. I guess in some ways it’s good it happened so quickly so I didn’t have too much time to worry about it. Before that night, it was something happening in the future – not now – it wasn’t real yet.

As soon as they had things prepared in the OR, I was wheeled over that direction on my bed. At this time, Kelly was off putting stuff into our post-op room so we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye and thanks. They asked me if I had any questions, which I didn’t, and then we get right outside the OR and Jon was given his gown, footies and hat to change into while they put my hat on me. We also were greeted by the anesthesiologist who went over what he was going to do.

I remember looking into the OR thinking wow, this is actually happening – I’m going to be a mom soon – I had wanted to go ahead and do the c-section because of how uncomfortable I had become (carrying around 12 pounds of baby plus the placenta and amniotic fluid is a lot to carry around!), but I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. It all seemed to go by so fast.

They had me scoot over onto the OR bed (with their assistance) and have me to change into some other gown. Then they were going to have me lay on my right side to put in the spinal anesthesia but that side is just too uncomfortable so they put it in while I lay on my left. With all the shaking, I was having difficulty staying still and on top of that, I wasn’t understanding how they wanted me to curl up. The nurse held my legs up to my belly and I had to curl my head toward my belly. Surprisingly, the spinal wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be – the bad part was trying to keep still while the doctor put in the spinal. However, I should mention that it still hurt to have a needle put into my back like that, but not as much as I thought it would. Perhaps adrenaline was making things a little better.

Once the spinal was over, they got to work putting up the drape right in front of me. It was weird to have my left leg go numb well before my right leg (and later on, my right leg was the one that would “wake up” first). Once that took place, they put the catheter in and they shaved me a bit more to make that bikini cut – I didn’t feel it this time. Later, the anesthesiologist asked if I was cold and I said a little so he put a warm air blanket thing up by my neck. With those two things, I was feeling a bit claustrophobic so when Jon was down by my face telling me I was doing well during the surgery, I politely (and he will say I was really polite) asked him to back away. I am really, really glad he was there and that he was saying encouraging things throughout the surgery. It also didn’t help my claustrophobia that I could feel the pressure on my abdomen as they were moving things around and pulling out the babies. At times, it felt as though I couldn’t breathe though the anesthesiologist said my oxygen saturation was at 100% – he gave me some oxygen to help ease me. Later, I felt as though I would throw up so the anesthesiologist gave me something for that.

The surgery had just gotten started (it seemed from when the OB said they were getting started) when the next thing I heard was of a baby crying – and they stated it was a girl! OMG – we have a daughter!!! I started to cry upon hearing her cry. This was really happening! This moment we’ve been waiting for for so long was actually here! I had imagined this moment many times, and it was real this time.

When they brought her over to the warmer to check her out and clean her up, I kept looking over at this screaming baby momentarily forgetting about the fact that there was still another baby to come. I just was so amazed that this little human being was in me – that this little human being was our daughter. I didn’t hear our son when he came out (well, pulled out – they did have to pull him out from my ribs – the nurses later would tell us he has a bit of a bruise on his legs from the pulling) because he didn’t scream like his sister. I knew they had taken him out from the tugging I was feeling and because they all remarked on how big this baby was – especially his head – yep, that head that’s been putting pressure on my ribs for some time now. Eventually, our son would let out grunts but nothing like crying like his sister. We would learn later that it was because of fluid in his lungs that he needed to get rid of. I was a little nervous at this time that I didn’t hear him and I heard some whispering so I had wondered if he was o.k. but they didn’t seem to be rushing around that much, so I felt as though everything was o.k. I wish I could have seen him but they put him in a different area of the room.

After our daughter was out, she was brought over to us. Jon held on to her until they came back to take her to measure her and weigh her. I asked Jon to go take a picture of that moment (will try to post pics later). After that, she was given back to Jon and he wasn’t able to get a picture of our son – I don’t remember them bringing him over to us – possibly because of the issues he was having. Having her brought over to me so I could see her was just a wonderful feeling – here’s our daughter! I wished that our son could come over to us too.

Around 12:45 or so is when the surgery was complete. Jon went out before me to go to the post-op room, and then I was wheeled down to that room – after they had to move me onto the bed as I couldn’t do anything myself being all numb. We got to the room, I believe, around 1 a.m. It was weird to see them pull up my leg and not feel a thing – seeing my leg right by me and feeling as if that wasn’t my leg but someone else’s was just a strange feeling.

Since this post is getting too long, I’ll end part 2 here and start Part 3 with the Post-Op room experience and all the anxiety moments that happened with Ben (fluid in lungs and low blood sugar causing Ben to be floppy) and with myself (bleeding issues) and, of course, how the babies chose their own names. 😀

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Part 1 of Birth Story

Not sure where to start this post on the birth of our wonderful twins. I guess I’ll start on the morning of June 11. Throughout the day, I was feeling a bit of leaking, but since it was only a little, I didn’t think it was the amniotic fluid leaking – I thought, well, that it was something else – you know that other issue that pregnant women have?

Anyway, later on in the day, I did notice that it was starting to get heavier and when Kelly got here to the hospital for a visit, I was becoming concerned that it was the amniotic fluid leaking. I asked the nurse about it when she came in for my monitoring after Kelly and Jon had left. I probably should have asked when they were still here, but just felt a little embarrassed by it in case it wasn’t amniotic fluid. I asked how I was supposed to know the difference if the leaking wasn’t in a big gush and she explained it to me, and I knew then it wasn’t incontinence. The nurse did a quick test after she put me on the monitor to check on the babies and my contractions, and it came back positive for leaking of amniotic fluid. The babies were doing fine, but I was starting to have more intense contractions. The nurse called the OB on call so she could do an internal exam. The OB was delivering another baby, so we had to wait.

I called Jon to let him know and they stopped by at our house to get some things and feed the kitties and were on their way back. When they got back, I mentioned to Jon that we should probably start packing my things as I was pretty sure I was going to have two babies pretty soon and I’d be placed in a different room. Sure enough, when the OB came, I was indeed leaking amniotic fluid and things just seemed to happen quickly from this point on – though at the same time in slow motion (not sure if that makes any sense).

Next up… getting ready for the c-section and the c-section itself.

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35 weeks!

Another week reached – possibly only one more week to go (assuming labor doesn’t start before then or cervix check tomorrow (I think tomorrow) doesn’t show anything different).

Last night’s monitoring – hardly any contractions. This morning’s monitoring – I had plenty and these ones hurt again. Not as bad as some in the past, but they still hurt enough that the nurse gave me an extra dose of the anti-contraction medication. The contractions once again slowed down to almost nothing.

I saw an OB this morning and she remarked on how big my belly is – yet they still want me to go another week for the health of the babies. I keep telling myself that it is only one more week and that week could make the difference between the babies going to the NICU versus being with us. That seriously is the only thing getting me through. Yes, I wanted to be pregnant, but this really is harder than I thought it would be. Of course, I would do it all over again.

At the last growth ultrasound, the babies together were around 10 1/2 pounds – imagine what I’m carrying around with me now!

My back continues to hurt. The heating pad machine isn’t working as well as it has in the past though once the contractions become less strong and frequent, that does help out my back.

In other news, today is my niece’s birthday – Morgan turns 5 today! Happy birthday, Morgan! I called and spoke to her a bit ago – I still have a hard time understanding some of the things she says. My nephew, Connor, is finishing up kindergarten this week. Apparently, they must not do graduations anymore for kindergarten, but they did have a little concert today which sounded quite cute.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. Thank you to Ally and Paul visiting with me yesterday and bringing my husband over. I really appreciate the visits – most of the day I’m by myself so it is nice to have some interaction with people!

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Hmm…o.k.

An OB came by earlier today and I told her how the contractions haven’t been that painful as they have been in the past and that I was confused by that – I thought things would be getting more intense rather than slowing down. She said it was probably because my belly is so distended and so I don’t feel them as much. She said that things will most likely change back again soon.

Oh, and my husband has upgraded the size of my belly from huge to gigantic.

He went to go help a friend move some furniture, so he’s going to be here later than he had intended so I guess I’ll go take a soak in the jacuzzi while I wait for him to get here. We’re watching game 2 of the NBA finals tonight and well, my team didn’t do so well the other night, so hopefully, things will be different tonight (note – I really don’t care who wins – it’s just fun for us to root against each other and talk some play trash talk). 😀

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34 weeks 6 days

Not that I’m complaining, but it just seems strange that the painful contractions I’ve had in the past seem to have gone away. I’m continuing to have contractions, but they aren’t that bad – I’m able to sleep through them or they just feel like tightening. If things continue like this, I’m definitely making it to 36 weeks. I really want to ask my OB when I see her on Tuesday if we can just go ahead and schedule the c-section just so I have a date to countdown to. I don’t know if she’ll do that though.

My belly is still giving me pain though. I wish I knew what to do to make that feel better so I can get through the next few days until the c-section.

The babies were moving A LOT this morning on the monitor. I had just eaten breakfast so maybe they were super excited about that, but they were definitely busy this morning. My tummy was just rumbling!

It’s actually a nice day in Seattle so I think I may have to go outside today once Jon gets here. Not sure if anyone else is going to come by today (well, except for an OB from the clinic I go to).

That’s all for now – going to go look at some magazines that I have. 🙂

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Rainy Day (34 weeks 5 days)

Rainy day weather has a tendency of bringing me down a little bit. This hospital stay is really draining me too. I am so glad that the hospital stay is coming to an end soon. I can go home and hopefully, our babies will be coming home at the same time.

After staying the night last night and hanging out with me all day, Jon just left to go home to hang out with our kitties, so I’m by myself again. Jon’s mom also came by for a visit and brought a stuffed Donkey (from Shrek) with her. 😀 That made me happy as Donkey is my favorite character from that movie.

Today, I spent some time in the jacuzzi and took a wheelchair ride to the cafeteria for lunch since the weather is so crappy here in Seattle to go outside. When we came back from the jacuzzi, my nurse had brought in this machine that is attached to a heating pad so they don’t have to continually reheat a heating pad for me. My back has been hurting quite a bit, but today, it feels better with the heating pad and jacuzzi. The machine does make a bit of noise though.

This morning’s monitoring wasn’t that bad – I had contractions, but not very long or intense ones. The only issue was that area of my belly that is so extremely sensitive that it hurts to have anything touching it. When Jon’s mom was here, she said that my belly has gotten bigger in the last couple weeks and my belly and my back know it. The discomfort has only gotten worse. Only a few more days to go (though it seems like an eternity).

Well, that’s about all that’s going on here today. Oh, the nurse did bring a tv schedule on patient education topics – I’ve already watched some of them – like the c-section one and the breastfeeding one – but there are a few others I haven’t seen yet so I might be watching those tonight or a movie or both.

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Dream (34 weeks 4 days)

I forgot to mention that I had a dream last night (at some point, I must have been asleep) that our babies were here and I was holding onto them. Someone asked us what their names are and I realized then, we hadn’t actually named them yet! Then a little later, I asked everyone in the room to leave so I could attempt my first breastfeeding. Then I woke up.

Also, I don’t know if this was part of my dream or not, but I felt the babies move inside of me and at one point, I thought I felt a hand being pushed up against my belly. I feel their heads and see their heads moving all the time, but other parts of their body, I can’t really tell what’s being moved (though I do know where their little butts are and I suppose I can tell when they are moving that part – especially when our baby girl is moving her little butt).

O.K. That’s all for now. I’m sure other things will come up…

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34 weeks 4 days

Today brought more of the same – painful contractions – lots of back pain. The heating pad they give me feels good, but doesn’t really get rid of the pain. The jacuzzi works while I’m in it, but once I get out, the pain returns. I am so uncomfortable right now. I am getting a bit frustrated. It hurts to get out of the bed – I’m afraid that the pain I’m feeling is hurting the babies. It probably isn’t, but I still have that fear. I just want true labor to begin or for it to be 36 weeks so maybe we can schedule the c-section. I don’t get a good night’s sleep anymore. I’m glad that I don’t have much of the pregnancy left. I had hoped that I would have the growth ultrasound today just to find out how big the babies are now, but since I had around 10 1/2 pounds of baby in me 2 weeks ago – it’s got to be between 11 and 12 pounds now. I should know on Wednesday as that is when my next u/s is supposed to be. I am so ready for this pregnancy to be over and to have my babies in my arms.

In other news, my youngest brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. Obviously, I won’t be going to the ceremony even if I wasn’t in the hospital. Congratulations on graduating, Ryan!

My mom wanted the babies to come until after Ryan graduated so she could come over and it looks like she’s probably going to get her wish. 🙂

Well, that’s all for now. I think it might be time for another jacuzzi visit…maybe.

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